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| So its been a while. i haven't done much, worked a lot, slept a little. Same old same old. I did just return to California from a short trip to Phoenix which was quite fun. I had a BW convention that was in a way totally pointless since we are leaving in November, but whatevs there was a chance to win free stuff. (I did win $100 off a next order which i won't be making since i don't need industrial cleaning product) anyways it was fun because i did get to hang out with a good buddy of mine, better than winning any prize at the convention. Fun times, interesting conversations, tramp stamps, good motoring session with the MINI and a Porsche 993, go karting, tour of ASU, rock climbing, lots of new music, pretty much added up to make the trip more than worthwhile. I definitely needed that break, even though i slept at 2 am and woke up at 6 for the past few days. Now its back to work, but i have more energy to deal with people. I am still dead tired from the 6 hour drive and just from the lack of sleep, but when your living life to its fullest, sleep takes a backseat in the prioritizing of things. I can't wait to find out who i get to spontaneously visit next and hang out with, so many fun times to be had, so little time.
Thanks for the Pocky. :D | | |
| Maybe its just me, but my problems seem to be like a volcano. Sometimes it erupts and destroys everything. Sometimes it lies there dormant, but then shoots of steam for a few days and then quiets down again. Either way it never goes away. Active or dormant a volcano is always a volcano. Just like my problems are always still my problems. I have the same problems over and over again, sometimes explainable/predictable and other times at the weirdest times. What annoys me the most is that every time i feel that i have found the perfect solution only to find out later that it was only short term. So how do you come up with a solution for something that acts like a volcano. I guess you don't. All you can really do is hope it doesn't erupt and when it do what you can to make sure it doesn't completely destroy who you are. It's this simple, either I just haven't found that perfect solution to my problems, or I am bipolar like i self diagnosed myself years ago. My mental issues are once again rearing its ugly head. I need that sedative. I need sleep. | | |
| ive been in san diego for about 2 weeks now, and its just been work work and work. i mean yeah i'm not doing great with all this work, but im so glad my schedule is filled instead of just sitting around all the time not doing much at all. did have a day of fun but that ended in disaster...typical. there was a san diego MINI poker rally which was awesome. 100+ MINI's cruising down the coast of southern california to stop at the coronado speed festival. we drive past general parking, past VIP parking, and directly into the car club box, right behind the grandstands. if you looked around you would see the porsche car club, ferrari car club, and the corvette car club. it was amazing. we had a horrible poker hand, high jack didn't win us any fabulous prizes, but at the speed festival i did get to test drive a 2010 chevy camero, which i have decided is an awesome looking car with a pretty good interior, but horrible to drive. i drove the 6 speed manual and the clutch was extremely difficult to control and the view from inside the car was even worse. it felt like i was in a bunker. if bunkers had SS badging and lazy revving V8 engines. so that was the good part of the day. we return back to the motel and since its slow we have the afternoon shift leave early. i decided to return to my room just to chill and then i went back to the front desk to get a plastic spoon because i wanted to eat some yogurt. talked to my mom for a bit and once again walked back to my room. i sat down for barely a minute and i get a call from my mom. she says we been robbed. i told her to stop kidding around. when i walk back to the office i see the empty cash drawer and my mom just pacing back and forth. she tells me what had just happened and i could not believe it. this has NEVER happened to my family in the US. the police arrive and the story still isn't really sinking in. my mom gives the police all the information and i go and watch and record the security tapes for the police. whats insane is that when i went back to the office for the spoon and i was talking with my mom i saw the guy walk past the motel on the security tapes. he stopped and just kinda waited there on the street and then after i had left walked and returned to my room he walks into the office shows the gun and demands the money. seeing it on camera hit me hard, i started freaking out and was having trouble talking to the police. then even more good news (sarcasm) there was a call, the police had to leave because there was another robbery about 5 blocks north of us. and then we get the news that the night before there was another robbery about 3 blocks north of us. the police think they are all connected, but who knows. well i guess besides that nothing much has been happening. back to work after that and then work and more work to come. the future is semi planned at this point, a cruise in a week, phoenix arizona in 2 for a conference and to hang out with a bud of mine, ski swap in 3 weeks, back to las vegas for more classes in 4 weeks and in 5 weeks everyone will be returning to tahoe thus ending the san diego chapter of our lives.
thats all for now. who knows what new doors and windows will be opening soon. | | |
| first off, i'm back to my normal self. FINALLY. now i shouldn't blame my mood with other outside influences because whats happening on the inside is what really counts, but i am. i blame my shitty mood with being back home in tahoe. beautiful and wonderful as it is there is really no moving forward. you stay in tahoe you stagnate (if you have that mindset which i did and still do) anyways i am finally out! short trip to las vegas for some classes in caeser's palace for 3 days and now in san diego until november which i am TOTALLY ok with. in tahoe it was wake up sit at home go to bed repeat. here when i flew in from las vegas there was no break. i got picked up by my mom and right away work began. with my luggage in the car we went shopping for things needed for the motel. that took about 2 hours and then when i got to the motel, straight to work once again, relearning the system, fixing things, answering phones, what have you. ive only been here a few days but i am feeling soo much more like myself. (relaxed, fun, enjoyable to be around hopefully) i have a full plate, but i also have a pretty large appetite.
in 3 weeks i will be manging this place on my own for 2 1/2 weeks. there is no room for failure and no time to lose. one or 2 days here and there are open for free time, but not the whole day, usually its free 2-4 hours. and then i just go to bed since im exhausted. some people hate this type of lifestyle, but its what i really enjoy. yes i enjoy time to chill, but when im done relaxing, i need something to do, and this kinda balances that perfectly.
thats it for now. i guess you could say my transfer from tahoe to san diego is jumping out of the frying pan, screwing the fire, and directly into the gas main. im ready, im going, and those who can't keep up get out of my way. | | |
| I am not satisfied. Isn't it just wonderful when things just don't go as planned, even when that plan was in place for more than half a year. I love spontaneity. anyways, ive realized that i hate not being in school making my way up the educational ladder. Yes i was all cheerful about not having to go to school, but that was just me trying to make the best out of a situation that i didn't want to be in. Plan A, and Plan B were good plans, but when they blew up they left me with Plan C (C for Crap). I just love it when you try so hard to plan something and it blows up in your face. Kinda like being a nice guy. You be nice hope for the best and guess what, you end up finishing last anyways. Nice guys finish last, don't even try to argue it. That's why ive been off the grid, i just needed time to let things happen, no plans, no obligations.
Turns out it didn't work. During that week of being "away" i was still obligated to do many things, and found out more information that didn't help my case. one thing was that my dad failed to tell me that i scholarship that i applied for DID in fact send a letter to me telling me that i would not be able to receive the scholarship since my sister had already received it a year ago. (one member per family, new rule) ok cool im ok with that, but the fact that i found out 4 months AFTER i should have found out kinda pissed me off especially since i would have attempted to reapply in the following years, only to waste my time and effort. so yeah argued with my father and during that argument threw out some statements that were probably rash, but got a nice reply from him. turns out if i don't get enough scholarships, i can go ahead and get a loan, meaning my parents really don't want to help me out with my educational expenses. there are those things that you always know in your head, but when its said out loud it just kinda hits you all the harder. this was definitely one of them.
so i had plan a, b, and c. they all failed, so i decided to take some time off and fall off the grid, to re-evaluate myself and the direction that i was headed in. that also failed. i am in need of a break. and yes i am supposed to be "off the grid" well screw you, i can do whatever the hell i want. if i want to be back on the grid for a day, i can. but as of now, im back off the grid. no contact thru any means, unless i contact you. Goodbye, until I can figure me out.
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